


Smile and Moan

by Dayzaya



Category: Durarara!!
Genre: Blow Jobs, Cam Boy Shizuo AU, Eventual Izuo, Exhibitionism, F/M, Hand Jobs, M/M, Masturbation, Sexual Situations, Shizuo with everyone, Smut, Voyeurism, more like, smut galore, they watch him fuck himself tbh, things you come up with at four in the morning
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-07-17
Updated: 2016-07-23
Packaged: 2018-07-24 14:25:22
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 2,583
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7511731
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Dayzaya/pseuds/Dayzaya
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>「It wasn't like he was having sex with people for the fun of it, he was just masturbating with a audience.」</p><p>                Shizuo's a debt collector, but along side, he's also a Cam boy. And slowly, his two worlds start to collide.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> so me and my friend desu were talking and it stemmed from hellsing to the fact i ended up asking about strippers and then cam girls and then i was like "okay but. shizuo as a cam boy"  
> and voila. this happened.

 Shizuo cums.

 It's a relief, from the show he's put on. Requests that make him roll his eyes and the comments that turn between rude and genuine and some asking how his day was while he strokes himself over the images of girls on the screen, it doesn't do much for him anymore. The girls start to look the same, each expression similar and he doesn't think he finds it as arousing as he used too. He applauds them regardless, while he strokes himself faster and pants softly. He glances over at the comments, flexes his fingers and squeezes the head of his cock so white sticky substance squirts and he's hissing completion by the time he sees his regular come across the screen with a  _beautiful show_ , before Shizuo pants heavily and his hand's fall to grip the cushions of his sheet as sweat drips along his cheek and he clears his throat.

                  "Thanks for coming," he says and nearly rolls his eyes at the choice of words. He needs to relax, to breath and stretch along his bed. Most nights, Shizuo cums twice and he calls it a night. Other times, he simply workouts naked or does whatever it would be to appease his string of customers who flood into his room. Either way, Shizuo isn't content with himself this night. When he turns the camera off and finds himself checking to see how much he's made with a expression twisting more into a scowl than anything. ¥15720. It's enough to help pay for his rent before he get's his paycheck, maybe for a pack of cigarettes.

               He shuts his laptop before he remembers he needs to clean his hands, shuddering when he grabs for a cloth he always pushes against his pillow to wipe at the lid and then his own hands. Shizuo is tired; having spent most his day catching clients who didn't want to pay and with his own shitty paycheck regardless, he's stressed enough and to come home to stretch and open up his laptop to appease strangers, and a few regulars whose came to his show since he's started it-- Shizuo wants nothing more than to close his eyes and sleep for hours. Days even.

                 He can't. Not when tomorrow is his day off and he's promised to see his brother. The blond stands, sighs content when the air is cool against his flushed body. He wouldn't mind masturbation, he realizes. If only he wasn't being watched and getting paid to jerk himself over images. Shizuo wishes it could be easier, maybe if he was seeking attention or maybe if he could find more things arousing. He can't, not really.

                It started just as something, maybe working out and ASMR- but then it became more, when someone asked and offered a decent amount of yen that would surely have helped his trouble then, and others who were in the same line of work had told him. Not pressured, but offered words of advice and Shizuo, despite his anger then, had swallowed it up and closed his eyes as he stripped and teased and wrapped fingers around his dick. 

                                                          Shizuo thinks, if anyone finds out about his little gig, he would be ruined. Not in the same sense as rumors flying around, but he thinks maybe they would be ashamed. Would they understand, probably. Probably not. It wasn't like he was having sex with people for the fun of it, he was just masturbating with a audience. The blond nods to himself, stretching his arms above his head when he's finished pulling a shirt over his chest and tugs boxers back over his hips.

     Shizuo grabs his laptop and plops it onto the beside drawer, yawns until his ears pop and he winces. He has his alarm set for seven, even though it's nearing one and he's not going to be able to sleep until two because his mind likes to play evil when he needs rest. It's fine, anyways, Shizuo could do with little hours of sleep. The nauseated feeling he gets when he wakes up; it's  _fine_. He tells himself, climbing into his bed.

     _Fine_ , he thinks and allows himself to rest against the bed that's warmer than it was when he first laid on it. That- Shizuo pretends to not notice; the evidence of his actions.


	2. Chapter 2

Kasuka's calm, and Shizuo is more anxious than he likes to admit.

  Maybe it's because he could feel his newer phone vibrate heavily with messages he's getting from fans, and even though he's set it to silent and his phone is shoved deep into his pocket and all he could feel is the tremors shaking up his leg. There's coffee infront of him, an empty plate of crumbs; and even though he doesn't like the bitterness, he adds nearly sixteen packets of sugar before Kasuka's voice rings through the air was a gentle "how are you" that Shizuo finds himself feeling the nausea of anxiety hitting him in the gut. it's just a normal question. Though, a day after each show he can't help but feel like his secret has somehow found everyone and they were waiting for the moment to strike.

   If he thinks hard about it, he feels that if it came out; even if he and Kasuka had no way to prove relation to each other once Kasuka was Yuuhei and he was Tsugaru while acting sexual fantasies for perverts, he still felt that any second could jeopardize his brothers life.  Instead, Shizuo allows himself to stir his coffee that's blending into a lighter hue before he lets his gaze lift to meet Kasuka's. "I'm fine. Just tired." It's not a lie, as he expected he knocked out somewhere between two and woke up feeling groggy. 

            Kasuka hums a response, "Have you been sleeping enough?" He asks and the explanation of the question is pointed out by the way his eyes scope over the blond's face. Even if his face set into calm, expressionless, Shizuo knows concern is churning through his younger brother even as he cracks a grin more set to distract. 

             "Yeah." Shizuo blurts, a lie and he's feeling more shitty than he did when he woke up. There's a silence, and it's as if the silence broke through his resolve as he adds, "well- I've been... playing this video game." It's another lie, but easier to explain why he hasn't been sleeping as much as he used too before he's started his night job. Kasuka's head tilts forward, as if he's going to say something but he simply pushes his plate closer to Shizuo. The blond had eaten a large piece of cake merely five minutes when they walked in, Kasuka had a simple doughnut decorated with a bunny laced in chocolate.

             "Eat." Kasuka says softly, "you should try to limit how much you play." He adds after a moment, still soothing and calm, and Shizuo nods slowly. "It's not good to be stay up." 

  Shizuo opens his mouth to reply, but instead it breaks into a smile that's more real than the last. Kasuka's gaze is unwavering; and then there's a twitch of his lips; and for a moment Shizuo could finally be content.

* * *

                 Shizuo gets a look at the messages when he's walking to meet Celty. He has a skype, set it to appease strangers and albeit Shizuo would admit. Just as many were polite as some were rude. There was one he had befriended, or he  _assumed_ it as so. The man went by Shinichi, was polite and smart and on most days Shizuo could admit he was glad to get a message on days he was feeling stressed. It's not like Shizuo told him his day to day life, and even more so, just mentioned work was rough or something akin to it. Shinichi wasn't his  _first_  male viewer, surely wouldn't be the last. There were as many woman watching as there were men, couples that admitted watching Shizuo spiced up their sex life.  _Those he had to admit made him feel mixed between guilt and joy_.

                   Shinichi has messaged him, a simple  _How are you today, Tsugaru?_ Shizuo doesn't bother to respond right now, not when other messages are asking him the same thing, some asking if he would like to  _meet_ in person and others make him cringe at the sexually vividity. He blocks those, and turns his status to  **away** before turning his phone off and shoving it in his pocket. 

    Celty greets him with a wave of her hand. She's leaning against Shooter and she shifts her weight by the time Shizuo walks up to her. 

             "Sup Celty."

[Hey!] Her response comes quick, erased then [How was Kasuka?]

            "He was fine," Shizuo answers, reaching for his cigarettes. There's nothing but silence when his cigarette is lit and he's inhaling the nicotine that helps relieve from stress. "It was nice to see him since he's been working so much." 

  [Isn't he going to be the voice for a new animated character?] Celty asks. [Haven't you ever considered acting?]

                 Shizuo wants to laugh, but instead he grunts. "Yeah, he is. And no, I haven't. Pisses me off."

[Everything makes you mad] She's teasing, Shizuo knows this and he laughs this time, sounding more strained than anything.

                    "Things I don't understand pisses me off." He retorts and he peers at his cigarette. There's another long of silence, and Shizuo opens his mouth. He doesn't know what he wants to say, admit that he acts in a way that Kasuka would never? Or- if he has, Shizuo hasn't bothered to pick those movies up due to how  _awkward_ it would be to watch his own brother engage in those things even if it's acting. 

           "Hey Celty," he goes for instead, head canted and his eyes are squinted up at the sky. The sun isn't out, covered in clouds. It's an action of thought. Celty doesn't type out a response, but when he drops his head he knows she's watching him. "If I was doing something you never would've thought I've done, what would you say?" It's vague, he knows. Celty holds up her PDA.

  [Depends on what it is.]

     "Heh, figured." Shizuo murmurs.

                He doesn't explain what he means, and he doesn't touch the topic again. 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> in the english dub of ketsu, at episode 7, shizuo (crispin hnhn) says something akin to "things i don't understand piss me off" to vorona and i died because i really love crispin haaa *c r IES*


	3. Chapter 3

_Have you ever used a sex toy?_

 It's the first thing Shizuo see when he logs back into skype, and he's brushing his teeth while peering at the message. It's on the top, recently sent; makes Shizuo furrow his brows and spit out the foam of mint. He places his phone down on the counter and turns the sink on, cups his hand and brings it to his mouth once water splashes and spills from the make shift hold he has on it. Once he's finished with rinsing his mouth out, Shizuo lets his attention focus back on the question.

                It's not Shinichi, nor any other viewers who are nice. And he doesn't think he wants to respond regardless. 

A sex toy? No, he hasn't ever used one. Shizuo doesn't think to fondly of the idea of something shoving up his ass; nor does he think he would enjoy it. Granted, he knows his viewers would probably like that, but Shizuo had a boundary and it wasn't going to break because of how much he can get paid.  _Though_ , he shifts when he's wiping his lips. Catching wetness and drying as best as possible as skin could do,  _would it be that bad to try it?_

Yes. Another part of him screams, it would be bad. He hadn't anything to do it with anyways, and even if he could do it, Shizuo was adamant with his prior thoughts. He wouldn't do it. Not at all.  _Nope_. He doesn't bother to send the person a response, just huffs annoyance while plopping himself onto his bed. Yesterday he's acted out for the viewing of others, and really he didn't wish to do anymore. Instead, he flicks through messages.

_God your hot_

_how was your day?_

_why aren't you messaging me back?_

_slut._

_thank you so much for last night!_

It's a repetition. Shizuo blocks the ones that make him mad, sends a quick thank you to others before he decides to plug his phone onto it's charger before flopping onto his back. Briefly he thinks abut masturbating, before he lets out a laugh that sounds choked out between annoyance and bitterness. He couldn't just masturbate, not when his sexual fantasies are nil and any will to actually get off have come down to nothing. Shizuo can't close his eyes and jerk himself over the thoughts of some girl he would hope to sleep with; or even just do it to get off. 

                       It's silence that drives him to grab his phone again, it's only nine and he's not tired yet. Will around the eleven mark before he crashes between one and two. 

      _Have you seen this_? It's Shinichi, with a link that pops up and there's an image of Shizuo. Well-  _Tsugaru_ , with legs spread and his hand around his cock that's spilling cum. Shizuo grits his teeth, it's not a shock to have seen these pictures; considering he's come across some himself while he was curious about googling his alterego. But the image still makes him shudder in anger and his response comes quick.

 **Tsugaru Psy > ** _No i haven't but ive seen some before_

  **Tsugaru Psy > ** _where did you find this one_

     Shinichi responds fast, quick enough so that Shizuo doesn't see the pop up of  _shinichi is typing_ on his screen.

 **Shinichi > ** _When you look search your site name in the engine, it pops up. Flattering, isn't it?_

 **Tsugaru Psy > ** _no it's not_

 **Shinichi** **>** __ _Isn't it the life you wanted?_

Shizuo gets silent. It's the truth infront of him, but it's  _not_. For a moment, he can't reply. Can't breathe and then

 **Shinichi >** No show tonight?

 **Tsugaru Psy >** no im not in the mood

 **Shinichi >** Really? Your stamina must be failing.

                    A laugh, sharp and amused. Shizuo presses his cheek against his sheets. Shinichi is typing something else when Shizuo closes his eyes and stretches his arms above him, grunting out pleasure when his chest feels lighter and there's less pressure on his back. He rolls his shoulders, head canting to both sides; by the time Shinichi had finished typing out a message Shizuo was between sleep and barely able to make out the words before they send a shot of heat curling in his belly.

  He doesn't know how to respond, his mouth slants open and he breathes in a rush of air that leaves just as fast. Fingers shake, and his touch is too hard when he presses onto the first letter of  _I_ and the rest comes out after several deletions. Over and over until a minute as past and he just manages a simple  _i don't know_ when he tries to ignore the sudden realization of Shinichi's words. Words he tries to forget, but the suggestion of touching himself while being spoken to was something he didn't think he could get into, nor react too. A suggestion of masturbating with someone else, so he won't feel as  _alone_ makes Shizuo hotter than he was looking at images.

        He logs out a moment later, saying  _shit i have work tomorrow and it's late sorry_

It's another lie; and Shizuo finds it's getting easier to do that with each one.

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i started this on my birthday and ended it like... three days later, and i ended up stopping it faster than i wanted, but i think the next chapter should appease for that. as im moving things are a bit stressful uvu;;


End file.
